Monday, July 23, 2012

Feelings

Feelings
The last bog should have been "to be or not to be". I think that if I spoke another language I would be further along in my life then what I am. Or maybe not, it seems as thou I have one of those dark clouds hanging around. I cant seems to catch a break, not sure what it is that I'm doing wrong to bring about such bad luck. I'm glad that I have a job, I need money of course, it's just that I'm over it. I don't like it and it's work for me to just get up and go, it begins to feel like I have spent over ten years trying to obtain in education and when I do it's not worth the time, sweat and tears I put into it. It is hurtful and only makes me wonder what I'm doing wrong. I feel like there a lot of things I need to do in order to move forward in my life and it's not happening. I guessing I don't know what the things are.

In tears.

I'm grateful to have a job, to have the money we need to pay for things. With that said I completely despise it at this point. I hate the fact that I spent 10 years going to school so that I could graduate and end up doing the same thing I was doing before I went to school. It's killing me on the inside and I don't know what to do about it . About a week ago I got a G.R.E study book and a graduate admissions essay book from the half price book store and I have yet to open them.
    My job search for something better and less painful is vague. I look, I apply and still nothing. I just keep saying to myself one day I'll get an Ace.When will it happen I am becoming so unhappy with current the surroundings. I don't know what else to do. I don't know what I'm doing now. So, I'm left in tears and stuck.    

Friday, June 29, 2012